"our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
When I first saw this image it gave me a sick feeling deep inside and a very heavy heart. This photo disturbs me so much and I sat there staring at it wondering in what context this photo was taken and by who?
My partner bought me Melinda Tankard Reist's book 'Big Porn Inc: exposing the harms of the Global Pornography Industry' and having never seen pornography myself I found the first page very difficult to get through. I had no idea what we are truly up against when it comes to being the minority that is against pornography. I say minority because if the majority of the world said no to pornography then there would be no demand for it which means the porn industry would eventually die out because people wouldn't be feeding the industry and without food we die.
After about 3 months I finally opened up Big Porn Inc again and in part 3 it focuses on children and how pornography is harmful to children, not only because it sets up a false idea of sex and how a male should act and how a woman should be treated but because these 'sex acts' are being acted out on children by their fathers. I believe that fathers are spreading the plague of pornography and infected their sons and daughters with abuse and the disease just keeps on spreading. I found out that the private christian school I spent 13 years of my childhood at, had boys in year 7 and 8 that is 13-14years old showing other peers pornography that had been given to them from their fathers. Good on ya dad!! what a great example you are setting for your son. Definitely a candidate for father of the year right there! how sickening is that!! and what pigs! I mean seriously!! This man has a wife! And for some reason they decided that it was the moral thing to do to send their children to a Christian school yet they are contradicting their actions by hand feeding their sons with a messed up version of adult content. I'm about to share with you some real testimonies found on pages 184 and 185 of Big Porn Inc, these stories brought me to tears and the scary thing is that there are occurring more frequently. please read these with a protected heart.
Silbert and Pines report that a father in their study used to show "his friends pornographic movies to get them sexually aroused before they would rape" his 9 year old daughter (1993,pp. 117-118)
Child pornography also provides new ideas for sexually abusing children
Most child pornography portrays the victims as enjoying the sexual abuse. Such depictions undermine any guilt the viewers may feel, as well as facilitate imitation by males who need or prefer to believe that the sex acts depicted are not abusive. Some men even find it more arousing if the child is terrified or crying. A young girl testifies:
My father had an easel that he put by the bed. He'd pin a picture on the easel and like a teacher he would tell me this is what you're going to learn today. He would then act out the pictures on me (AGCP, 1986,p. 782)
This story got me the most; a father asks his online web cam buddies what sex acts they would like him to enact on his child. He then acts out the sexual abuse that they request, after which his buddies pay him for his live show.
There are more stories, but I will stop there. How are a children ever going to feel safe when they are subject to abuse in their own homes! Showing a child pornography is abuse! so if you're thinking I would never sexually abuse my child! But showing them pornography is just as bad. You are forcing content onto a child when they are not mentally mature enough to understand or accept. I don't think 18 year olds are even 40 year olds for that fact are more immune to the harmful effects of pornography.
The greatest injustice is to remain silent about this! if you know anyone who is a victim of child abuse or if you have been a victim of child abuse then you must report it and there are support services out there for you.
i'm in the process of sourcing some support groups and help lines, so please watch this space for these details later this afternoon.
If some of this information doesn't sit right with you or you would like more details please send me an email. firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I love this little saying and it's funny because i hadn't really thought about it until i read this and then i was like " oh yeah! that is so true! "
I think it is a really important thing to judge your relationship by. I the person you are with isn't making bringing out the most "you" that you can possibly be, then there may be a real issue there. You can only pretend to be someone you're not for so long until you are so exhausted and so over it that you just snap.
I believe there is a soulmate out there for everyone.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
If this is so then why are men not protecting the women they love? Why are young boys growing up with the concept that violence towards women is acceptable? Is it because they have only ever seen this acted out by their fathers towards their wives? It's a scary thought that the boys that are turning into men have such a warped idea of love and protection for what will one day be their wives, their soul mates, the mother of their child.
As a young girl and then going on to be a teenager the only experience i had from boys was unwanted, at times forceful and i certainly never ever felt protected from the men that claimed to 'LOVE' me. This set up a really distorted idea of how i viewed myself and i started to think that if this is how men treat me who "love" me then that is just how it's meant to be. But it's not!! oh gosh it is not how it is meant to be!!!! and i can say now that i have finally found a beautiful, gentle man that has shown me how a woman should really be treated. And that is with respect, kindness, gentleness, protection and never ever making me feel pressured to do anything! The moment a man makes you feel like you HAVE to do something...RUN! get out of there quick smart! this is not how all men are! and trust me the good ones really are out there!
These statistics i'm about to share with you really shocked me and it made me really worried that girls don't realise they can say no! it took me almost 10 years to realise this and a lot of really horrible experiences i wish i didn't have to go through so if you can please learn from this and just trust that gut feeling you have inside and know you are worth so much more than a guy's few minutes of satisfaction!
White Ribbon Foundation 2008, cited research showing that one in seven girls and young women aged between twelve and twenty have experienced rape or sexual assault. Among girls who have ever had sex, 30.2 per cent of Year 10 girls and 26.6 percent of Year 12 girls have experienced unwanted sex. Fourteen per cent of young women said that a boyfriend had tried to force them to have sex, and six per cent said a boyfriend had physically forced them to have sex.
further reports from another source go on to say. 32 percent of young men aged 14 to 26 believe that it is acceptable to force a woman to have sex under certain circumstances.
The increasing incidence of boys perpetrating sexual crimes against women and girls in Australia might be an indication of a trend toward a more callous attitude in men's sexual treatment of women created through the normalisation of the sex industry.
In a Canberra school in 2008, teachers told Melinda Tankard Reist of boys groping the girls in the classroom, even during class and with the teachers present. Girls were aware that male students were spending lunchtimes downloading porn on their mobile phones, which added to their sense of threat.
In almost every group of girls with whom Melinda talks to, she is told stories of verbal abuse, harassment and even sexual assault including rape. And the girls response to not speaking out about it is: why make a fuss?; it hasn't just happened to them but to lots of girls; what if they were blamed or not believed; it's something they just have to put up with.
(These words were taken from Melinda Tankard Reist's book Getting Real: Challenging the Sexualisation of Girls. You can read more on pages 24-26 find more of her resources on the link below)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
It is becoming more and more apparent that girls are blinded by their potential that lies within them because they are too consumed with their appearance. looking a certain way and being attractive in the way you look and dress is becoming the sole focus of many girls lives.
We are daily bombarded with images and advertising that is telling us the way we already look isn't good enough so here is a way to look better, so you can catch the boy you want, so you get that dream job, so you can live a 'HAPPY' life.
We may trick ourselves into believing this is true for a little bit, but it isn't long until we start to feel exhausted! from trying to live up to this expectation, an expectation set by who!? by people who care for us and love us? who have our best interest at heart? who truly care about how we view ourselves? NOT AT ALL! it's an expectation set by companies who's sole focus is to make money and they know that if they make girls hate what they see. Then they claim that they can provide a way to make you love yourself so we buy those new clothes, beauty products, hair care, shoes, new tits and lips and bums. Then we spend hours trying to perfect that look of those models seen wearing it. Who actually have had a make-up artists work on them for at times up to 6 hours and then the final product is digitally altered so it's not really what they looked like after all that pampering anyway.
We have been sold a lie! and unfortunately way too many girls are believing it. We can see it in the facts and statistics that girls as young as 4 are becoming fashionably aware and concerned with their body weight. We can see it in our primary schools when there has been a significant incline of girls developing eating disorders, and now girls as young as 9 have been found with STD's because they are having sex. And we can see it in our high schools when we hear more and more of self-harm, eating disorders, pregnancy and abuse because they just wanted to fit in, feel accepted by guys, look HOT! and get the guy, then you'll really feel worth something.
‘You just do all this sex stuff with boys-you don’t have to love them or anything.’
(and it looks like you don't have to love yourself either.)
Monday, March 19, 2012
"We don't want to get into a situation where we tell parents how they parent (but) parents are screaming for (help). The focus needs to be more on what assists parents which is why we need to move industry and have a full cultural change." MP Amanda Rishworth
Sunday, March 18, 2012
As much as this blog is a collaboration of my own thoughts and feelings, i would love any feedback you may have, any comments for and against are more than welcome. (i only ask that you do so in a respectful matter) :)
If you have any questions or concerns that you would like me to look into please let me know.
Thank you for the support, and recognising the rising issue of the sexploitation of women and children in our society, and the need for change. Yours in action LRF (Little Red Fox) xx
Watch the video below that was on Channel 7's Sunrise and hear what Melinda Tankard Reist has to say about the issue.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Pornography presents women as live sex toys, and men as wild and predatory animals. It makes the abuse of women inviting and erotic. Pornography's scripts ('command the bitches') are being acted out in real life in Australian cities and towns, involving younger and younger boys and girls. We are seeing more and more of the male sexual bonding rituals in which girls are seen as conquests, there to be degraded.
In July 2007, a thirteen year old girl was assaulted in toilet blocks and a rooftop in a Sydney suburb. She was penetrated vaginally and orally by SEVEN boys. The course taken by the assault followed the classic plot line of an average porn film in which one girl is surrounded by many men in a planned attack; it was as if the boys had taken their instructions directly from porn. The boys had cameras at the ready to record the violation and to post on YouTube as home made porn: after all, what's the use of assaulting a woman if you can't brag about your conquest later? Too many young men have become not only consumed by porn but have even taken to manufacturing it at home using their mobiles and computers.
The boys waiting their 'turn' in this attack told the girl to 'smile like you're enjoying it,' just as women in porn are told to look like they are having the time of their lives.
One report of the attack claimed that the boys forced the girl to 'take off her clothes and watched one another violate her, causing her to bleed'
The lawyer suggested that it was a 'lack of sex education'
However, it wasn't a lack of sex education that was at work here; rather, the actions of the boys suggest that their sex education through porn was very thorough indeed. What they lacked was an education in humanity, common decency and respect. It's as if we are witnessing the death of feeling or empathy for another's suffering.
(Melinda Tankard Reist: Getting Real- Challenging the Sexualisation of Girls.p24)
It was reported in 2008 that a group of six-year-old boys!! ran a 'sex-club' at a Brisbane primary school, threatening girls who refused to comply. A seven year old girl performed oral sex on a boy during lunchtime: ' The witness said the boy had menaced the girl and threatened her with violence'
(taken from; Getting Real- Challenging the Sexploitation of girls. p23)
If a six year old is capable of this imagine what he will be like when he reaches 17. That's 11 more years of the psychology damage of pornography. How is this boy meant to escape a life that ends up putting him in jail if someone doesn't educate him now on how to respect girls and women? He is already 10 years old. I wonder how many other girls he has sexually assaulted.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Story taken from Melinda Tankard Reist's: (Getting Real - Challenging the sexualisation of girls)
(Spoken by Renate Klein.p32)
Emma, an Australian girl aged 14, struggles over her popularity with the boys in her class. She thinks she's too fat and her mother doesn't buy her the right clothes. She has taken to throwing up after eating, but is pleased when her emulating of Dolly's beauty advice gets her a boyfriend. She is keen on having the three Gardasil injections so she won't get cervical cancer from sex - that's what she has been told this vaccine does.
The severe body rash and fatigue she develops after the second injection doesn't help her confidence but nevertheless, she soon engages in sex, without condoms or contraception ( the boyfriend didn't want the former and Emma was too embarrassed to ask her mother for help with getting a script for the pill).
The sex wasn't what she had imagined, the boy dumps her, she puts on weight again and feels distressed. The rash over her whole body gets worse including blisters after the third Gardasil injection. She is exhausted most of the time. Her once excellent school results plummet which leads to fights at home.
She panics when her period hasn't arrived for the second time ( the first time she ignored it), breaks down and tells her parents. Her mother takes her to a clinic where she is informed she is 8 weeks pregnant and qualifies for a 'medical' abortion as she appears by now to be severely depressed (one of the indications for the limited use of the abortion pill, RU486, in Australia). The same day, Emma is given three pills and is told to come back in two days for the second part of the abortion (the prostaglandin). She becomes violently ill with stomach cramps and nausea. She passes the foetus that, although tiny, is quite well formed. This really upsets her. When the bleeding hasn't stopped after 2 weeks she needs a D&C to remove the remaining foetal tissue. She is so scared that she asks for a general anaesthetic that makes her feel ver sick when she wakes up. She has trouble sleeping and spends hours crying in her room.
By this time she is on an SSRI antidepressant. At school she has become the butt of all jokes and gossip (including in cyberspace). She responds with outbursts of temper alternating with feelings of loneliness and bottomless despair. She sees her future as bleak, not worth living for. And she still has the rash all over her body. She thinks all of this must be her own fault and she believes she is a total failure. Her mother is making lots of medical appointments for her and she is seeing a psychiatrist.
This is only one story, but there are many like this happening right now because girls as young as 10 are now being diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases. Why is no one asking, why are girls as young as 10 engaging in sexual activities. And who is it that they are having sex with!?
Obviously there is a lack of education in our schools about the legal age of sex and the safe way to do so if you are having it.
If we can't trust that our schools are providing the right education for our children and all they have to go to then is Pornography, the media, the pathetic example of Girlfriend, Dolly and Cosmo magazines then what hope to they have!?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Society and the media have bombarded us with images of the "ideal" woman. Pornography has polluted our world and our bedrooms with a false image and sexuality of a woman, and since this has been done for such a long period of time and gradually in a more invasive form we have left no room for people to have other opinions or appreciate beauty in other ways that isn't airbrushed, spray tanned, implanted and starved to skinniness. We need to encourage girls to see what they are is unique, and beautiful and because they don't look like the women in the Magazines that doesn't mean that you are not beautiful! Melinda Tankard Reist's book "Getting Real - The sexualisation of girls" quotes from Steve Biddulph " We have trapped girls into a terrifying hall of mirrors, surrounding them with distorted images of girlhood, always implicitly critical of their selves, always based on externals. In a piecemeal, cumulative way, this is invading and tarnishing girls' vision of themselves, making it almost impossible to put together a positive and integrated sense of self."
Saturday, March 3, 2012
i have been lucky enough to be apart of Melinda Tankard Reist's speaking events for the last two weeks. Melinda is an author, speaker, media commentator, blogger and advocate for women and girls. Melinda brings up the issues of the objectification of women and sexualisation of girls, she is also working to address violence against women. Melinda is the co-founder of Collective Shout and she is also the author of " Getting Real, and Big Porn Inc" Melinda is a woman who is sick of what our society has labelled as "accepted" she fears for the girls growing up in this world, and how they are too sexy, too soon, and fears for the boys who are being exposed to pornography at such a young age and often they have no choice in the matter. If you also feel uncomfortable walking down the street, going to shopping centres, watching tv, opening up the newspaper, because you are bombarded with image after image of the sexploitation of women and pornographic images, get behind Melinda Tankard Reist and the Collective Shout movement. Because how can you be heard if you remain silent.
FLAG THIS ARTICLE! we do have power to stop these things and it's as simple as one click. funny that it takes one click to view this and one click to get rid of it.