"our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Monday, February 11, 2013

dear porn star...will you be my valentine?

no need for chocolates, roses, a card, or any other romantic gesture for that matter

dear porn star...will you be my valentine?

what do you mean you can't!?
didn't we just have a connection?

I think about you ALL the time!
when i'm on the toilet, in the shower, in bed, even when i'm making love to my wife!

What!? that orgasm was fake? But i swear you were enjoying it!
What do you mean you're being abused and physically damaged??
I thought you loved it!

with valentine's day being just around the corner, everyone who has a partner will be planning how to show that special someone how much they love them, telling them you are the love of my life, you're my one and only..etc.

But, between your partner and all those girls you watch in porn, who will you choose to ask to be your valentine? your actual girlfriend/partner/wife or your pretend porn star girlfriend? cause i mean, they both give you pleasure right? you're connecting on some sort of level to both, you're giving a part of your sexual desire to both...so which one will it be?

oh! but wait! how will you actually ask your pretend porn star girlfriend to be your valentine? i'm pretty sure she doesn't actually know who you are, and to be honest i doubt she would really want to.
But you're giving so much of your time to her! you're connecting that chemical that goes from your brain all the way down to your penis with her...that must really suck that all this energy, emotion and pleasure is going to someone who can't give you anything back in return. But maybe that's what you like about it, maybe you like that she's hassle free, she doesn't talk back to you, you can switch her on and off with a click of the mouse. You can get an imitation version of what a real woman is. Hmm well i guess that makes you not a real man then, and i guess then you don't deserve a real woman.

Pornography is a weak man's excuse to fulfil some sort of void in his life, it ultimately ends with creating so much damage to a man's soul, mind and at times body, that all you are left with is a shell of what could have been a real, passionate, driven, honest, trustworthy man. 

There is so much pain and destruction caused by porn and unfortunately too many men are caught by the snare of pornography and because they don't talk to anyone about it, they find themselves going deeper and deeper into a place of darkness that they don't quite understand, but deep down they know something isn't quite right.

There are a lot of men who are daily fighting against the lie of pornography and are making choices to honour the women in their lives and choose them over the pretend porn star girlfriend.

So this valentine's day who will you ask to be your valentine?

(below are some links to websites that will give you more information about the harms of pornography and how to get help)

Saturday, February 9, 2013

yes... shock and tears!

he sees a woman across the room, knows immediately that it is "she".
He drops the relationship he has, pursues her, feels wild excitement, passion, beating heart, obsession.
After a few months, everything collapses; she becomes an ordinary woman.
He is confused and puzzled.
Then he sees once more a radiant face across the room, and the old certainty comes again.
- Iron John

(retrieved from 'Wild at Heart' p.91)

Isn't this story a little too familiar? but i guess what do we expect when pornography is constantly offering men a new, exciting, different experience of 'woman' with just the click of a button... the only problem is, this experience of 'woman' is fake. It is developing the misconception that no matter who a man finds there will always be a more exciting, hot, version out there somewhere, so no need to really be a man and fight for the one beauty you have committed to, cause if you do that... "mate! you are missing out!... there are sooo many to choose from, why would you ever settle." Little do they realise each time they do this they are throwing away a piece of their soul they can't get back, and in the process they are stealing away a piece of that woman's passion, desire, and true beauty that she has to offer, throwing it on the ground and stomping all over it...

"this is a picture of a wounded, famished man. It is the paragon of selfishness. He offers nothing and takes everything". 
(John Eldredge, 'Wild at Heart' p.95 & 187) 

every man has an adventure to live...

every man has a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue and an adventure to live...
These are the main chapters in the book Wild at Heart.

The last couple of weeks i've made my way through this eye opening book into discovering the secrets of a man's soul. John Eldredge uncovers the true burning desire that we all have in us, to be living life as if it were an adventure not a problem to solve. This book is mainly focused on men and trying to bring healing to wounds formed by their fathers, and encouraging them to fight the battle, win the beauty and live life to the fullest. It has been incredibly impacting. Both men and women can learn a whole lot of truth from this book about the deep cry of our souls for a relationship that has real depth, commitment, raw honesty and a true warrior spirit that says I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU! a reoccurring topic in this book is that of pornography. It is the number one killer in the souls of men. 

"why is pornography the number one snare for men? He longs for the beauty, but without his fierce and passionate heart he cannot find her or win her or keep her.
Though he is powerfully drawn to the woman, he does not know how to fight for her or even that he is to fight for her.
Instead, he privately, secretly, turns to the imitation.
What makes pornography so additive is that more than anything else in a lost man's life, it makes him feel like a man without ever requiring a thing from him. 
The less a guy feels like a real man in the presence of a real woman, the more vulnerable he is to porn."
(Wild at Heart p.44)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

little girl


Little girl, little girl, where did you go?
I hate what the world has done to you
You’ve buried your heart so that only you know 

I hate what the world has done

Little girl, little girl, where is your pride?
I hate what those people have said to you
You took all your tears and you hid them inside
I hate what those people have said

Little girl, little girl, where is your youth?
I hate how they pressured and pushed you
You jumped too far in without knowing the truth
I hate how they pressured and pushed

Little girl, little girl, where is your face?
I hate that you’ve hidden the real you
Your edited show’s a synthetic disgrace
I hate that you’ve hidden yourself

Little girl, little girl, where is your smile?
 I hate that the sorrow is hurting you

You cut and take drugs and you starve for a while
 I hate that the sorrow is hurting

Little girl, little girl, lost and alone
I hate what the world has done to you
Throwing your heart to the wild and unknown
 I hate what the world has done.