"our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Girlfriend belongs in the trash

The only place Girlfriend magazine should be seen is crushed up in the garbage bin. It has no place on the shelves if it continues to ignore the research that girls who are readers of the magazine HATE themselves! That they are developing eating disorder, low self-esteem, are dieting and want to change the way they look, because what they look like isn't what they see in the magazine. below is a link to Melinda Tankard Reist's website where she posts the results Girlfriend magazine received from a survey asking their readers how they felt about their appearance. Isn't it funny that they would of expected to receive those results? i mean how is it possible not to when all they talk about is " The #1 Body Mistake we're all making" "6 things you need to tell a boy...." Now i know that Girlfriend is not the worst magazine on the shelf and i would LOVE to see pretty much every magazine in the trash but what disturbs me the most about Girlfriend and Dolly is that they are aimed at young girls who are developing, discovering themselves, trying to find out what those weird body changes mean and what happens when you start dating boys... you'd hope that adults would give better advice than a step by step guide on how to perform oral sex. Should a 12 year old really be encouraged to perform sexual acts? Really responsible girlfriend. You're really doing a great job. 

what's stopping you.....

What is it that is stopping you from going against the flow. making a change and standing up against you know isn't right. 

be wise...protect your eyes

now don't get me wrong i love good movies, art, entertaining shows etc... and i get so inspired by all these things and i find myself walking away from a movie replaying all the scenes in my head or flicking through images in my mind i have seen through out the day. And as i doze off to sleep everything i have been exposed to that day swims through my thoughts and sometimes makes it way into my dreams. Now if those images, movies and tv shows are of crime, evil doings, hatred, abuse, highly sexualised acts of provocative ways to dress. Then thats what is going to be constantly playing through my head. And unfortunately the world we live in is inundated with more of these things than the beautiful, fruitful things that are sooo good for the soul!
We are seeing more and more studies that prove that girls who are exposed to magazines, tv shows, movies and music videos that emphasize the fact that you MUST look a certain way to be noticed, to get the boy, to succeed, to be happy, are developing eating disorders, have poor self-esteem, hate the way they look and want to change it, poor academic performances and self harm..just to name a few. These are the effects we are seeing in our young girls, and with the boys they too are struggling with self-esteem issues, but they are also battling against a world of false sexual pleasure, false manhood and a false idea of how a man should treat a woman. The images they are exposed to in pornography destroy their innocence, groom them as sexual predators and also allow them to develop sexually in their mind, hearts and souls in a way that is not pure! Now isn't it so important to keep check on what we allow our eyes to see. I used to care what people thought if i didn't want to watch a certain program or if i felt too uncomfortable to watch a sex scene in a movie. But i've stopped caring now. i know it is more important to protect my mind and my heart than it is to sit through a stupid tv show or a movie. because really is it that important? is it really the end of the world if you never see Watchmen! even though it's meant to be soooooo good! and even though it only had one really bad sex scene in it, i would of much preferred to never of seen the movie than expose myself to that. I don't know call me a prude or whatever you want, i don't really care. cause i would much prefer to put my head down at night without having random people flashing through my head or have a violent dream and a restless sleep because i just watched a show about rape and murders.

whether you realise it or not what you watch follows you long after the program has finished. so be wise...protect your eyes.

on another planet

my apologies... i have been on the planet of assessments lately, hence the lack of posts. Thank you to all that have shown support of my blog. It's really encouraging to hear that other people are passionate about change as well. If ever anyone has something they would like to share, i am more than happy to post on your behalf. just shoot me an email. i'll be posting again soon.x

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

There is much to be done, but let's just start with what we can do now

Melinda Tankard Reist gives her opinion to The Age about the effect that our sexualised culture has on our children. And how it is resulting in health related issues. 

Please take a moment to vote on the Poll about:

Should there be more government regulation of sexual content in advertisements?

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/politics/sex-sells-but-were-selling-out-our-children-20120408-1wj7e.html#ixzz1rb7eDm4J

Sunday, April 1, 2012

feeding the obsession

Dolly magazine has started up their model search again, and it is open to girls as young as 13.
I just want to share with you a story of a former Dolly model search entrant. This story is found on Melinda Tankard Reist's website, where you can find more stories of how we are being effected my the sexploitation of women and girls in today's society. (follow the link below to Melinda's website.)

I was 15 when my mum entered me into the Dolly Model Competition. She told me it was to help me with my self-esteem which, at the time, was shockingly low. She said I was so beautiful there was no way I wouldn’t win. A mother’s naivety.
At first I was horrified because I had no respect for fashion models. I told mum that if I won, no one would ever respect me. I wanted more than to be a pretty face. I wanted to be a writer.
But she said, “What better way to get you noticed than to have everyone see your beautiful face?”
And it occurred to me that I would like to win.
I was bullied badly at school, long before I entered the competition. I had freckles and a flat chest and I was terribly shy, I wasn’t tall but I was very thin. You see, I barely ate. And I did think I had a pretty face. I’m part Native American, so I have very white skin with Indian eyes. I felt like it made me stand out.
I began to fantasise about winning the competition and not telling anybody, so they would all discover it when they saw the magazines and be sorry that they bullied me.
Of course, I didn’t win. I didn’t even make semi -finals, or get featured on the collage of entrants in the magazine. And I was crushed because I didn’t know why. The girl that won was pretty, but I just couldn’t see how I was different, or what made her, or all the other girls ‘better’ than me.
And I think the thing that is so painful is that they aren’t really better. They are all beautiful for different reasons, and for whatever reason they didn’t like the look of me.
But none of the entrants ever got to find out what was ‘wrong with us’. That’s what hurt the most. Not knowing why. All we got was the silent rejection of never having been called and knowing that for some reason we could never be told, we weren’t model pretty.

And because that was the whole point of the magazine’s message, that ‘successful’ was ‘pretty’ and ‘model’ was ‘most desired’, I started thinking that I would never really be successful because I wasn’t good enough, and that no matter how hard I worked, no one would ever pick me because I wasn’t pretty enough. The cold and silent rejection stung, and reinforced the message that I was not good enough, and that my bullies were right to pick on me.
It made me feel so worthless.
So 11 years later, after two sexually abusive ex-boyfriends, an eating disorder, an anxiety disorder that I’m still trying to control, and three suicide attempts, I have finally learned the value of myself and my life, and have clawed back some semblance of self-respect.
And I don’t blame the Dolly Model Competition for all of these things, but I do recognise it as a catalyst, and I know I was never as happy or as sure of myself after that. It was just too big of a let-down, because it wasn’t a rejection from a high school bully, it was a rejection from ‘the experts’, from people with professional opinion, and it was a closing of doors in my face from a glamorous and revered industry.
Teenage girls just are not equipped to deal with the conflicting messages, and they are not equipped to deal with damaging competition and rejection.
If I knew what I know now, I would never have accepted the competition in the first place. If people had been less fixated on my looks and more on my talents and interests, I might not have accepted a boyfriend that hurt me, I might not have tried to starve myself, I might not have tried to die.
Girls are worth more than how they look, and I cannot accept that, with teens feeling the way they do, magazines like Dolly are willing to exploit them.
The Dolly Model Competition is bad news. They have enough girls clamouring for stardom in the industry, without bringing the rest of us into it.
*Real name withheld at author’s request.

Magazines are feeding the obsession girls have to constantly look a certain way and what the world deems beautiful and desired. After reading magazine how do you feel? Do you feel satisfied with the clothes you own or they way your body looks, or your hair, skin and face? or do you close the magazine thinking. "right i need that dress and those shoes and that lipstick and i need my hair to look that way and my skin needs to be this shade...and why oh why can i not look like her! why aren't my legs like that? why don't my lips,teeth,nose,bum,boobs and thighs look like hers."
Just try spending this week not picking up a fashion magazine or looking a fashion blog and see what other thoughts your day can be filled on besides your appearance. Dolly magazine is targeted at a very impressionable age group and needs to take more responsibility on the content that publish and the fact that girls who don't win a competition can then plummet into a spiral of self hatred because the 'fashion industry' doesn't like their "look".

Project Unbreakable

help for victims of sexual assault

Here is some support lines the government has provided for Sexual Assault victims.

There is help out there for you and you ARE NOT alone! 

Don't let the bastards get you down!