let us then be lovers of life

Being grateful isn't something that always comes naturally to people. Sometimes it is a choice we have to make every morning when we wake up. What are you grateful for today? Verbalising these things can actually completely change your whole outlook, and perspective on life. We live in a world that puts constant pressure on us that what we are isn't good enough, that what we have isn't new enough, that the way we look isn't perfect enough. It's important to take a step back, breathe, look around you and recognise all that we DO have! I think you'll be surprised that you don't actually need as much as you think you do, and that what you've got is more than alright! 

women with dangerous ideas

     

Last night I was incredibly blessed to be in the company of some passionate and inspiring women who are presenting dangerous ideas. Lydia Cacho is an investigative journalist who exposed child sex enslavement and survived to tell the story. And Kajsa Ekis Ekman is a Swedish author and writes on how Surrogacy is Child Trafficking. There are many terrors women face in this world. We need to hear how we as men and women can join together to combat against it. 

read more on them here: 

http://fodi.sydneyoperahouse.com/events/surrogacy

http://m.smh.com.au/world/the-defiant-one-20140818-3dv6y.html

will you flourish in the desert?

Therefore I am now going to allure her, I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of (Trouble) a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the days she came up out of (bondage). “In that day,” declares the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master.’ (Hosea 2:14-16)

Lately i have found myself in the midst of this and found those wise words extremely helpful for my situation. I hope that whoever comes across this can also be encouraged.

"I wonder, sometimes, if God doesn’t take that same strategy with us today. Could He be allowing us to go through a desert and even at times lead us there so He can “speak tenderly” to us and show us a new side of Himself? Sometimes God allows us to go through certain deserts as consequences of our sin or some bad decisions we made along the way. But other times, I believe He will lead us through a desert because of how He wants us to experience Him there. What desert might God be allowing you to walk through right now so He can show you a new side of Himself? To make sure you don’t miss your opportunity to see a new side of God and grow closer to Him through your circumstances, remember these three things when the winds of difficulty begin to blow your way: 

1. Seek God’s Favor –Ask God what side of Himself He wants you to see, what characteristic of His He’s waiting to reveal to you, what level of His love He’s wanting you to experience. To seek His favor is to say “I want You to be pleased, Lord, in how I’m handling this. Grow me through it – for your glory!”

2. Surround Yourself with Support – None of us were intended to “go it alone.” Find some women in your church who support you in your faith and can encourage you and hold you accountable during the tough times. Having strong friends to lean on – and who can pray for you – will steer you in the right direction and keep you from becoming bitter. 

3. Sing – regardless of your circumstances. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we’re told “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I’ve paraphrased that verse to read, “In all things, sing…” To sing in our suffering lifts our hearts and keeps us focused on the growth God wants to incorporate in our lives. God will, at times, do what it takes to draw us to His side so we will depend on Him more. Kris and Robert are learning this, and are determined now more than ever to bloom amidst their burdens. Will you flourish in your desert, as well?"

flourishing in the desert

dear heart...take courage

pornography is continuing to erode children's innocence if we don't do something about it.

Almost eight out of 10 young women said pornography had led to pressure on girls to look and act a certain way,

In findings that will add to concerns over the sharing of explicit photographs, 46% of 18-year-olds polled said sending sexual or naked photographs and videos was "part of everyday life for teenagers nowadays".

read more:

http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/aug/20/teenagers-internet-pornography-damaging-poll

EASY TIGER: Sydney Bar profits from the sexualisation of women

If we aren't already facing enough bombardment from our media, advertising and culture with the hyper-sexualised images of women, we can now also expect it from our bars and clubs as well. I know this is not a new thing to have women on display to service the needs of men in bars and clubs etc... but they are usually advertised in a certain way to draw a certain clientele ( e.g. strip clubs) 

The new bar in Paddington Easy Tiger is being praised for it's 70's theme that includes nude pictures of women around the place and that "people have been taking advantage of our roller girl services." "so you can take a seat and a roller girl will come and sort your food and drink out"

We are living in a society where women's bodies are continually being used to profit the business of men. Women are viewed as a commodity and this is why it is a problem. When we are continually conditioned to see a woman as a sexual object it has a negative affect in a variety of domains: 

•      Cognitive and emotional health: Sexualisation and objectification undermine a person's   confidence in and comfort with her own body, leading to emotional and self-image problems, such as shame and anxiety. 

•        Mental and physical health: Research links sexualization with three of the most common mental health problems diagnosed in girls and women—eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression or depressed mood.     

•       Sexual development: Research suggests that the sexualization of girls has negative     consequences on girls' ability to develop a healthy sexual self-image.

When we as a society remain silent and complicit about these issues we are contributing to a culture that is intoxicating the spirits of women. I don't know about you but i do not want to be one that contributes to that. Especially when i know that one day i may be brining a girl into this world i want to be able to face her and tell her i have done all i can to make this world a better place for her. At Collective Shout our vision is to end the world of sexploitation. We are a Collective Shout of people who are determined to create a better world for young people, to help heal the beauty sickness young girls and boys are experiencing and challenging the cultural messages that have been spoon fed into us that are making us ill! 

http://collectiveshout.org

https://www.facebook.com/collectiveshout

REDEFINING BEAUTY:

 “This photo shoot is my tribute to all the brave women across the globe who have gone through this gruesome torture."

We live in a society where women are bombard with a one-dimensional version of beauty. Young girls are conditioned from a young age that to be 'hot', 'sexy' and 'attractive' to men is all they are designed for. When we put this pressure on young women we are knocking out of them their ability to focus on things that are more important than their outward appearance. When we see articles like this i wonder what women in Australia think. Would they honestly be able to cope with this being a reality for them? Would they stand in front of a camera and have a photo shoot? The way i see women obsessing over themselves i wonder if they would honestly not want to kill themselves if their outward appearance was damaged. Our society is creating a beauty sickness and what disturbs me the most is that women who have absolutely no defect are depressed and ill because they feel like they're not "pretty" enough. pretty enough for who? for what reason?? Is there not so much more to life than tying to achieve an attractive outward appearance?? This article is truly inspiring and i cannot even fathom what this would be like to experience, the excruciating pain of it and the absolutely inhumane experience of it all. Yet these brave women are rising above it all and being a voice of hope to all the other women in the world who are at the hand of horrific torture. 

below is the link to the article and an opportunity to help stop acid attacks:

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/lifestyle/indian-acid-attack-victims-pose-for-fashion-shoot/story-fnixw28f-1227024771654?nk=f5d1232a851c675db9012dd89b1651c8

let go of fear and love yourself as the person you are. what i think, therefore i am

a collective shout for a world that is free

WE MUST DO SOMETHING!!!!! 

The repercussions of girls growing up believing this and this becoming their lives is detrimental to the progression of our society! please understand the impact we are all having on the lives of young people. We must break away from what our society has made us believe about worth and beauty as a woman. A girl is more than her body parts. She is not defined by how "hot" she is or how may clothes she has, or what size she fits in to. We must overcome our own insecurities and be strong for the girls who have no guidance and help against a society that convinces them they are never good enough!!!! 

“Girls aren’t born hating their bodies. They aren’t born hating their lives. Something was happening that was poisoning girls’ spirits.”

“Problems such as eating disorders and self-harm, which once had been extremely rare, were now happening in every classroom and every street. But more than this, the average girl was stressed and depressed in a way we hadn’t seen before," - Steve Biddulph 

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/parenting/steve-biddulph-a-call-to-arms-for-girls-1.1890356

take me, use me, do whatever you want to with me and then trade me in..

Being on the receiving end of this and also being the one trying to convince our society it is wrong can at times be extremely exhausting, overwhelming, hurtful and to be honest there are times i think is it even worth it!? Is this ever going to change...How are we STILL having to talk about the same issues over and over and over again. It is so encouraging and quite the relief when you come across a man who also gets it! He speaks the same language i hear so many women tiresomely trying to communicate. I think i get so excited hearing a man speak about this because it straight away eliminates the usually defensive response i so often get from men.. "are you only interested in slagging men?" "why are you targeting men?" "are there no good men out there?" "man-hater" etc etc...

I just wanted to share a few of the points a man has made about the way men view women...

Women are viewed, talked about and sung about like a commodity.

COMMODITY=  take it, use it how ever i want and then trade it in for greater value. 

Every single day men are getting this message about women:

"Take me, use me, do whatever you want with me and then trade me in..."

Men, if you have any song that refers to a woman as a bitch or a whore, it needs to be erased from your playlist forever, in every country that there has been genocide and/or slavery, do you know where it begins? Someone has come along and dehumanised an individual by ascribing a label to that person. We should be so extraordinarily intolerant to those kind of labels and that kind of behaviour that it shouldn't exist in our culture. Men if you continue to entertain yourself with terminology and phrases that talk about women as bitches and whores, guess how you're eventually going to give yourself permission on how to treat them? by the label you've given them.

A culture that is comfortable referring to a woman as a whore or a bitch is a culture of lesser value.

Now lets talk about porn (erotic imagery)

Every time you sit down and entertain yourself with pics if naked women, you're at 'school' And in this particular school you're learning three very important lessons...

1. A REAL BODY isn't good enough
2. ONE BODY isn't good enough
3. YOUR WIFE'S/WIFE'S TO BE BODY isn't good enough

If you want to look forward to a fantastic romantic relationship with a woman down the road, the best thing you can do is to CHECK OUT OF THIS SCHOOL!! This school sets you up for extraordinary disappointment.

A constant argument is that "it does't hurt anyone"

Now research is coming out and...

UH OH! you spend enough time learning these 3 lessons and something actually changes chemically in a man's mind.

UH OH! This is destroying marriages.

UH OH! REAL women can't compete with these images.

UH OH! This may not actually be a "past-time", this may be creating a pathway to something.

Men it leads you to view women as a COMMODITY

Porn is essentially a drug, it deadens your desire for REAL women.

And yes this doesn't just affect the minds of men, it affects the minds of women too. Women who are in relationships with men who view porn wake up thinking "i have to compete with thousands of women who don't really exist" "Is my body good enough compared to the thousands of women he sees?" "Will i ever be enough for him?" "what is wrong with me!?" "will any man ever be satisfied by a real woman? if not what does that mean for us?" It is ultimate betrayal to any woman if her partner looks at porn and is considered as cheating. So how can a woman stay in a healthy relationship with a man that is consistently being unfaithful? How can you build a trusting, loving, caring, honouring and respectful relationship on that foundation? 

Over-time you will destroy your own desire for a REAL woman and women simply become a COMMODITY for you!

If you would like to hear more from men who are talking about these real truths about pornography here is the full message from Andy Stanley on this topic:

Gentleman's Club

Also here is a fantastic book from Glen Gerreyn 

Men Of Honour

I don't believe that men truly want an empty, soulless relationship with a real woman. Unfortunately there aren't many places men can turn for a good example of healthy sexuality and masculinity. 

I hope to create healthy spaces for men to open up and seek the true understanding of how women are to be viewed and treated. I don't at ALL blame the men for being this way, i blame the culture that has trained them to be this way. Men are not inherently born this way. So if we can break down the negative messages they have received i believe we will uncover a true form of masculinity as it was designed to be.