take me, use me, do whatever you want to with me and then trade me in..

Being on the receiving end of this and also being the one trying to convince our society it is wrong can at times be extremely exhausting, overwhelming, hurtful and to be honest there are times i think is it even worth it!? Is this ever going to change...How are we STILL having to talk about the same issues over and over and over again. It is so encouraging and quite the relief when you come across a man who also gets it! He speaks the same language i hear so many women tiresomely trying to communicate. I think i get so excited hearing a man speak about this because it straight away eliminates the usually defensive response i so often get from men.. "are you only interested in slagging men?" "why are you targeting men?" "are there no good men out there?" "man-hater" etc etc...

I just wanted to share a few of the points a man has made about the way men view women...

Women are viewed, talked about and sung about like a commodity.

COMMODITY=  take it, use it how ever i want and then trade it in for greater value. 

Every single day men are getting this message about women:

"Take me, use me, do whatever you want with me and then trade me in..."

Men, if you have any song that refers to a woman as a bitch or a whore, it needs to be erased from your playlist forever, in every country that there has been genocide and/or slavery, do you know where it begins? Someone has come along and dehumanised an individual by ascribing a label to that person. We should be so extraordinarily intolerant to those kind of labels and that kind of behaviour that it shouldn't exist in our culture. Men if you continue to entertain yourself with terminology and phrases that talk about women as bitches and whores, guess how you're eventually going to give yourself permission on how to treat them? by the label you've given them.

A culture that is comfortable referring to a woman as a whore or a bitch is a culture of lesser value.

Now lets talk about porn (erotic imagery)

Every time you sit down and entertain yourself with pics if naked women, you're at 'school' And in this particular school you're learning three very important lessons...

1. A REAL BODY isn't good enough
2. ONE BODY isn't good enough
3. YOUR WIFE'S/WIFE'S TO BE BODY isn't good enough

If you want to look forward to a fantastic romantic relationship with a woman down the road, the best thing you can do is to CHECK OUT OF THIS SCHOOL!! This school sets you up for extraordinary disappointment.

A constant argument is that "it does't hurt anyone"

Now research is coming out and...

UH OH! you spend enough time learning these 3 lessons and something actually changes chemically in a man's mind.

UH OH! This is destroying marriages.

UH OH! REAL women can't compete with these images.

UH OH! This may not actually be a "past-time", this may be creating a pathway to something.

Men it leads you to view women as a COMMODITY

Porn is essentially a drug, it deadens your desire for REAL women.

And yes this doesn't just affect the minds of men, it affects the minds of women too. Women who are in relationships with men who view porn wake up thinking "i have to compete with thousands of women who don't really exist" "Is my body good enough compared to the thousands of women he sees?" "Will i ever be enough for him?" "what is wrong with me!?" "will any man ever be satisfied by a real woman? if not what does that mean for us?" It is ultimate betrayal to any woman if her partner looks at porn and is considered as cheating. So how can a woman stay in a healthy relationship with a man that is consistently being unfaithful? How can you build a trusting, loving, caring, honouring and respectful relationship on that foundation? 

Over-time you will destroy your own desire for a REAL woman and women simply become a COMMODITY for you!

If you would like to hear more from men who are talking about these real truths about pornography here is the full message from Andy Stanley on this topic:

Gentleman's Club

Also here is a fantastic book from Glen Gerreyn 

Men Of Honour

I don't believe that men truly want an empty, soulless relationship with a real woman. Unfortunately there aren't many places men can turn for a good example of healthy sexuality and masculinity. 

I hope to create healthy spaces for men to open up and seek the true understanding of how women are to be viewed and treated. I don't at ALL blame the men for being this way, i blame the culture that has trained them to be this way. Men are not inherently born this way. So if we can break down the negative messages they have received i believe we will uncover a true form of masculinity as it was designed to be. 

let go

girls can't cope in a copy/paste culture

never before have we experienced such an anxious and depressed generation of girls. 

Rates of eating disorders, self harm, dieting, depression and premature sexual activity are on the rise. Girls younger and younger are wanting to get plastic surgery and are incredibly anxious about the way their bodies look. 

Are we surprised though? Everywhere we turn there is pressure from all sides about the body of a woman. 

Women believe they exist in a one-dimensional version of themselves. They are there to be gazed upon by men. 

The female body is a beautiful thing and should never be shamed, but that is not all that a woman is. Everywhere we look we are being told you are as good as your body looks, and in doing so we are bringing up a generation of very sick girls. 

I just started a job supervising girls boarding in a school in Sydney, i fear that these girls childhood's have been ripped away from them far too soon. The whole weekend, unless for assigned sport, these girls would not leave Facebook or their mobile phones. Young people are growing up on a highly sexualised diet. The harms of that are life altering. 

Here is the organisation I am apart of:

www.collectiveshout.org

Please support us in our fight for a world free of sexploitation 

LEGENDS FOOTBALL LEAGUE: Just because he has removed the garter, the choker and the frills doesn’t mean he’s removed the sexism

Sexism dressed up as sport like a wolf dressed up in sheepskin

But Mitch Mortaza isn’t interested in dressing full stop, he’s more interested in getting rid of the clothes.

“However despite the branding shift, it is understood that women trying out for the team must supply a full-length bikini shot to be sent back to the US LFL with an application disclosing any tattoos and social networking profiles”

click here for article

Just because he has removed the garter, the choker and the frills, doesn’t mean he’s removed the dirty stigma connected to where this idea came from.

“It was originally a half-time gimmick. Mitch teamed up with Hugh Heffner and had the playmates dress up and pretend to play football”

 (Regan Webb, Queensland Brigade coach)

click here for article

Legends Football League is all about exploiting the female body for a profit.

Women are so desperate to raise their public profile they are willing to lower their standards to those that resemble the sex industry.

Is this really the example we want to set for young Australian women? That in order to gain attention you must first lower your standards and your dignity?

I’ve heard many women argue It’s liberation! It’s empowerment!

Having dirty, filthy men drool over you, spit sexists jokes at you and hang on to the edge of their seat in hope to see some tits and arse…if that’s liberation and empowerment then we have a much greater battle on our hands, and I’m very afraid of the society we are creating for the generations to come.

Do women really not respect themselves enough to fight for a place in the sporting world that allows them to keep their clothes on!?

“ We all like Lingerie Football…but it’s still called LFL and I think it will always have that image of chicks playing football while not wearing very much”.

 (Johanna Theobald, who plays tight end)

click here for article

the real measure of beauty

what kind of woman do you want to be?

generation xxx **strong trigger warning**

"Sibling sex abuse is now recognised as the most common form of intra-familial sexual abuse"

(image retrieved from: gallianoswhore.tumblr.com)

Are we really surprised though?! When boys are being exposed to rape porn, incest porn, bestiality, torture porn at the ages of 11 and sometimes much younger. Boys are growing up on a diet of porn and it is breeding them into a brutal, callous version of masculinity. It is messing their brains up so much they are acting out on their own siblings!!

I have attached the link to this article in the SMH where Benjamin Law talks to the victims and the perpetrators of sibling sexual abuse. If the next generation is growing up with the empathy smashed out of them, then what hope do any of them have of forming a healthy idea of sex. When a child isn't even safe to be around it's own siblings there is something seriously wrong! If you have to be wary about your children bathing together in fear that this will create an environment for abuse to occur then how will a child ever feel safe and protected.

Reading this article creates great fear in me of why this is happening? 

What happened to that family bond that consisted of love, protection, innocence, fun, kindness, the kind of attitude that was "i will do anything for my family" How have we grown to be a society that smashes all of those 'family' qualities and instead replaces them with sexual and physical abuse? This is deeply disturbing and the long-term damage will unfortunately pass on from generation to generation.

"In Australia, the New Street Adolescent Service - a NSW program addressing under-18s who have sexually abused people - consistently finds that roughly 50 per cent of their clients' victims are siblings." 

If you know or are a victim of sibling abuse, it is not your fault and no, it is not ok! 

Please find someone who is safe to disclose with and find some help and protection.

Here are a few contacts if you do need help:

http://www.rosiesplace.com.au

http://www.sexualassault.nsw.gov.au/VOSA/sexual_assault_contactus.html

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/indecent-obsession-20130520-2jveu.html#ixzz2XOI2QsbW

a message for the girls...be brave!

The last week i have had the honour of joining Melinda Tankard Reist at Sutherland Shire Christian School and Hunter Valley Grammar School, to speak to young people about the issue of the representation of women and girls in the media and popular culture (See more here: http://melindatankardreist.com/)

I was able to share a little bit about the Tyler the Creator campaign i have recently been involved in. 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jun/07/tyler-the-creator-rape-abuse

I was so encouraged by the response of the young girls at Sutherland Shire Christian School. Some girls shared with me how they found hope, inspiration and power to change the things in this world.

And that is why i stood up to Tyler the Creator and why i will continue to stand up and speak out against a culture that makes men believe it is sexy, fun and enjoyable to engage in violence against women. If i can encourage just one girl to say no, and fight against what boys are trying to force upon her then it is all worth it. She is worth it.

A study shows that people who listen to this type of music i.e 'Tyler the Creator' they are more likely to engage in premature sexual activity.

If those 'people' are the boys in your life, (and from the sessions at the 2 school there were a large majority of boys who listened to Tyler the Creator) it is likely to be you that they will attempt to act out their fantasies on.

The decisions you make now around premature sexual activity hold great consequences. I know it is so hard to see or understand the true weight of what those consequences hold in your future.

But i am here after experiencing the effect that media and pornography have had on the men and boys in my life to tell you...

IT IS OK TO SAY NO!

IT IS OK TO DEMAND RESPECT!

IT IS OK TO SPEAK YOUR MIND!

AND YES, IT IS OK TO WAIT!

Choosing this path will not always be easy though, you may not always be the most liked, or the most popular. And you will doubt your decision. But PLEASE keep being brave! And please know, what you are doing is right, it is worth it! when you get through those years at school and you never have to see those boys again you will wish you didn't give them a piece of you that is so precious. Because a boy that doesn't respect you enough to not grab your arse, to not ask for a picture of your tits, to not abuse you when you're drunk, to not say sexists, degrading jokes towards you, does not deserve to have any part of you! girls respect yourself enough to not give in to these lies that tell you, you need this attention from a boy to feel loved and accepted, it will only leave you hurt, broken and used.

You are allowed to get angry about this. We need more young girls who will get angry about this and not put up with what has become so grossly accepted as 'normal' within our society.

the porn experiment...and we're the test dummies

Pornogrpahy is a social experiment with unknown long-term consequences

Children are viewing women as objects and developing permissive attitudes to sex after being raised on a "diet of pornography". - (The Sydney Morning Herald)

"Pornography is breeding a callous, brutal version of masculinity"

- Melinda Tankard Reist

We are seeing more and more in the media of what has been a grossly under-reported area. 

How much more harm needs to be done before the Government takes responsibility. The internet has no filter in place and companies and advertising are under a law that doesn't require any form of regulation. This means that the scum in the sex industry can manipulate all areas of the web to ensure that even if a child is not "looking" for pornography, pornography will find them.

They have conducted experiments that target the most common typing errors children make so that when they do so they will be sent directly to a porn site. Porn sites these days include rape porn, torture porn, and bestiality...

"If we continue to subject further generations of young men to great barrages of aggressive, misogynist, over-sexualised and violent imagery in pornography, movies, computer games and advertising, we will continue to see rates of sexual violence against women and children that continue unabated today or worse."

- Alison Grundy

Here are some recent articles that highlight damaging consequences of pornography:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/children-damaged-by-diet-of-pornography-20130524-2k5wk.html

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/reject-apathy/loss-innocents/justice-side-porn



"WE ARE POISONING OUR OWN SPIRITS"
-Steve Biddulph